Come forth into the light of things,
let nature be your teacher.

 A funny guy once said to me, "I'm planning to retire and live off my
savings. What I'll do the second day, I have no idea."
 

 HILARIOUS JOKES AND HUMOR 
An elderly gentleman I know (who loves golfing) recently moved to a
new town and joined the local golfing club. But when he went to the Club for the
first time to play he was told there wasn't anybody he could play with because
they were all out on the course.


Seeing my friend's disappointment, the assistant pro came over and asked how
good a player he was.


"I'm really not that bad," he replied. "The only real problem I have is
getting out of sand traps."


The assistant pro decided to try him out. It turned out he did play well, and
coming to the par four 18th they were both even.


The pro had a nice drive and was able to get on the green where he landed
2-putts for a par. My friend had a nice drive also, but his approach shot landed
in a sand trap next to the green.


Playing from the sand trap he hit a high ball which landed on the green...
and rolled right into the hole! It was a Birdie and he won the game.


The pro walked over to the sand trap where my friend was still standing.


"Nice shot" he said, "but I thought you said you have a problem getting out
of sand traps?".


"I do. Could you please give me a hand?" my friend asked. 

Dont't pray when it rains
if you don't pray when the sun shines.

HILARIOUS JOKES AND HUMOR 
Today's humor is more cute than funny, but I think you'll still find
it enjoyable. Remember back in the good ol' days when everyone made their own
butter with the butter churn? Well...
 ...one day two mice fell into a deep cream bowl. One was an optimistic soul.
But the other took the gloomy view.
 "We're going to drown," he lamented without much ado, and with a last
despairing cry, he flung up his legs and said "Goodbye."
 "I can't get out but I won't give in, I'll just swim around till my strength
is spent, then I'll die the more content," Quoted the other mouse with a
steadfast grin.
 Bravely he swam to work his scheme, and his struggles began to churn the
cream. The more he swam, his legs a flutter, the more the cream turned into
butter.
 On top of the butter at last he stopped, and out of the bowl he gaily hopped. 
 

A bird doesn't sing because it has answers,
it sings because it has a song.

 Have you heard about the guys who drove their pickup truck into a lumberyard?

 One of them walked in the office and said, "We need some four-by-twos."

 "You mean two-by-fours, don't you?" the clerk said.

 "Let me go check," replied the man, and he went back to the truck.

 "Yeah, I meant two-by-fours," he said, returning a few moments later.

 "Alright. How long do you need them?"

 The customer paused for a minute to think and then finally said, "I'd better go check."

 After awhile he returned to the office and said, "A long time. We're building a house." 
 

There is flattery in friendship.
 -William Shakspear

  ♥
Question and Answer
Valentine Jokes
Q: What do squirrels give for Valentine's  Day?
A: Forget-me-nuts.


Q: What did the valentine card say to the stamp?
A: Stick with me and
we'll go places!


Q: What did the light bulb say to the switch?
A: You turn me on.


Q: Did Adam and Eve ever have a date?
A: No, but they had an Apple.


Q: What did the  boy octopus say to the girl octopus?
A: Can I hold your
hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand? 


Q: What did one snake say to the other snake?
A: Give me a little hug and a hiss,  honey.


Knock, Knock,
Who's  there?
Olive
Olive who?
Olive you!


Q: Why did the banana go out with the prune?
A: Because it couldn't get a date.


Q: What is a ram's  favourite song on February 14th?
A: I only have eyes for  ewe, dear


Q: What travels around the world but stays in one corner?
A: A stamp.


Q: What happens when you fall in love with a French chef?
A: You get buttered up.


Q: What is  a vampire's  sweetheart called?
A: His ghoul-friend.


Q: If your aunt ran off to get married, what would you call  her?
A: Antelope.

 

"You Know when your in love
when you can't fall asleep because reality is
finally better than your dreams"
  -Dr. Seuss